Everyday Grace

Five Grace-Killing Lies Our Parents Told Us (and We Probably Tell Our Kids)

June 1, 2015
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Here are five grace-killing lies our parents told us growing up that, more than likely, we are telling our kids as well.
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5. “Because I said so”

why_because_i_said_soHow is this a lie? Because unless you are a god and can just speak things into being, something isn’t just so because you spoke. There are reasons for why you won’t take your kid to the pizza place with the loud games and the big mouse walking around. Tell them the reasons. Ok, you probably have and they’re still asking why. So much like lie #1 (“This is NOT a negotiation,”) this lie is intended to end the conversation. But conversation enders do just that, they sever communication and closeness between parent and child. My dad tried to use humor in his version (“Because I’m bigger and uglier than you are”) but it was still a conversation ender centered around power, and conversation enders are deserts devoid of empathy. When you show empathy to your child’s suffering (yes, not going to a pizza place feels like suffering to a child,) you weave strong patterns of communication and trust that can bear bigger burdens as your child will experience “real” suffering as they mature. “Because I said so” is unloving and tyrannical in that it shows impatience with inferior creatures that don’t possess the god-like power (yet) that you possess.

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5. “Because I said so”

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